Confessions and confusion

I have something I need to confess, I swore not to tell this to anyone but I have to say it. Yesterday my friend Tony called me and asked if it was okay for him to come over to my house, I asked my dad and he was fine with it. I was excited to see Tony, we were really close friends and I hadn't seen him in a few months. When Tony came over to the house he had his twin brother, Jay with him. I know his brother well so I wasn't mad that he came too. We chilled outside for a while talking and just having a good time. After a while Jay walked home, he had to go check on some job applications.

That left just me and Tony but then suddenly everything changed. We started talking about serious things like relationships. He asked about Nick and I told him that we were planning about getting back together when he comes back to Texas but I was unsure about the whole thing. Lately I have had a lot of doubts about me and Nick. I asked Tony about his girlfriend, Audra. He told me they weren't doing well and he thought they were going to break up.

We continued talking and then we get onto the subject of me and him. I had told him in the past that I liked him and he had told me he told me that he liked me back as well. Next thing I know we are getting closer together and he looks me straight in the eyes, "There is something I want to do but I'm not sure if I should" he says. Call it a woman's intuition but I knew what he was talking about. "I think people should do what they want to do, not what they should do" I said. He paused for a moment and then his lips were on mine. We kissed for a while and then he got a phone call from his brother telling him he needed to go home because his mom wanted him home.

To be honest, I dunno why I did it. Nick and I aren't together but I feel like I have cheated on him. I told one of my friends and they told me not to worry and I was silly to think that Nick isn't doing the same thing in Virginia. I don't think Nick would do something like that but maybe I'm wrong......

Work and other things that have been keeping me busy...

I apologize for not posting in long time, I have been so busy with work. I recently got a job at the local McDonald's. It keeps me really busy, I work atleast five days a week and generally when I am not working I'm either sleeping or I'm talking on the phone with Nick.

Nick and I have settled our differences and decided to try again. This was not an easy decision because I knew if I choose between Miq and Nick I would leave one hurt. It took me a few days to choose but after searching my heart I knew there only one thing I could do, I had to chose Nick. I decided I had to tell Miq everything that was going on and hope he wasn't too mad.

I picked up the phone and as I dialed Miq's number my heart raced. He picked up and we had a long conversation and I told him my choice. He laughed and I'll never forget what he said, "I'm happy for you, baby girl". I could almost see him smiling through the phone. After a while we said our goodbyes and hung up. I was so confused, why would he be happy for me? Did he know I was in love with Nick the whole time? I started to laugh, that is just like Miq to do something so unexpected.

It won't be for a while until I see Nick again but he plans on moving down here soon to be with me. I can't wait for the day to have him in my arms again.